Review Text
In the early days Andrew was the leader of a large rock n' roll band. On the 13th day of the 13th month of their 13th year, while their tour van was broken down in the desert, he received a flaming vision: an ethereal green octopus, floating overhead in the night sky, dictated to him an elaborate recipe, with the promise that this concoction would prove to be his salvation. While the import of this revelation was not at first clear, Andrew dutifully collected the ingredients as instructed by the tentacled apparition, and found that when brewed together they formed a liquid of pleasant odor and coloration. After the group was rescued from their stranded state, Andrew began spiking the band's beer bottles with his new elixir. Not only did the band begin to sound better, but it shrank, as one by one the other members drifted into the unknown. Eventually as the last man standing Andrew grew an additional limb in order to play his songs all by himself, and he began traveling from town to town, selling his Miracle Tonic (found to be effective in the treatment of Tuberculosis, Gout, Neuralgia, Women's Troubles, Wandering Limbs, Stoutness, Onanism, Disinterested Bladder, Elephantiasis, Cholera, Barnacles, Boils, The Fits, Excessive Abscesses, Necrosis, Lavender Fever and General Wasting) along the way.
